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[this week:]

qmunicate wil not be featuring my column due to my Rhinoviral laziness this past week, and also forgetting that there was a deadline. All this tinkering over my intended article for NOTHING! NUFFINK!

So, before I start to work on the next issue's award-winning, blogospherically-acclaimed, world-renowned tour de force - can anybody direct me to some links about how to write good opinion pieces? Or even pass some hints from your ranty mentally-unhinged student journalist times. I'm a bit rusty just now.

Bridgey xxx

[the fugly bridesmaid]

Today I was dragged into town for a quick try-on of bridesmaid dresses. Pink bridesmaid dresses. Pink bridesmaid dresses that Barbie would consider too demeaning and "made her out to be a simpering bimbo". Pink bridesmaid dresses that Barbie would consider too demeaning and "made her out to be a simpering bimbo", and then even Jordan would consider them to be "too much like Sindy's crappy high street ballgowns". Yep, you get it. FUGLY PINK BRIDESMAID DRESSES.

I had this awful pitch for a teeny chick-lit novel titled "The Fugly Bridesmaid", and envisioned the cover of this generic Kelly Osborne wannabe in a scened-out haze in chequered Vans and her meringue-pink monstrosity, imagining the hilarious set pieces of dress changing ("THAT STRAIGHT CUT MAKES ME LOOK PREGNANT!", "THAT ELASTICATED CORSET MAKES MY BACK LOOK FLABBY!" and the classic "THAT DRESS MAKES MY HIPS LOOK TOO CHILD-BEARING", a side-effect of every dress I've tried on without any lining) and lots of gawking at fugly bridesmaid and prom dresses. TKMaxx had a rail of "MY EYES! DO GIRLS ACTUALLY WANT TO WEAR THESE TO THEIR SENIOR PROM AND PULL THEIR LUST OBJECT OF CHOICE?!" dresses, but I was unprepared for the "OMIGAUDINESS!" of Ice in the Argyll Arcade.

Today, I ended up a bit dejected after finding out that Ice (my favourite fugly bridesmaid/prom dress shop, errr...) is closing down tomorrow. I haven't gawped enough at the lurid pink and diamante chiffon-layers and the burgundy/golden sparkle halter-neck trashtastischicity of it all. I haven't even mentioned the inter-personal developments of the fugly bridesmaid's gorgeous bride sister actually being her natural mother, due to the sheer fun of the fugly dress and shoe sequences. That there site here mostly pokes fun at the people wearing the meringue monstrosities rather than the gaudiness and is a bit dated, but you can relive the "OMG!" experience I had in Rue Lafayette this afternoon.

I am so going to end up looking like "fairy princess Sindy" come July. With St Tropez tan if my sister has her way. Your eyes. They burn.

Bridgey xxx

[i hate emo wednesday]

Today, I woke up too late and shouted at the television in a way that I ruined my vocal cords, my lecture was cancelled, was almost in tears over something or other which I'll save for a ranty foul-mouthed filtered entry and I look like bloated crack-addled Pete Doherty with a bad case of anaemia. AGAIN.
AAARGH. BUT I HAVE TO FINISH THIS ESSAY. AAARGH.
Send me a pot of tea and some Maya Gold please.

Bridgey xxx

[this is interesting]

Some of the people I was out with last night talk teetotallerism. And mention the birthday party I forgot to go to.
I was wondering why there was a photoshoot in Jim's Bar on Tuesday afternoon. I never thought that QM elections ever got press coverage.

Bridgey xxx
I actually saw someone in the McMillan Reading Rooms commenting on a slacken_ties picspam.
Who wasn't me.
Really, really, YES REALLY.

In other news, John Coyle totally loved my tabbed copy of Ulysses.

Bridgey xxx

[the latest issue of qmunicate...]

BAAAAADLY let down by their idiot wannabe columnist.

Contains the words "apostles", "delusions" and "unnamed Premiership footballers". But they do not stop it from being shit.

Bridgey xxx
This proves that I am just that little bit less skint than you.
Seriously, one band so far that vivalabridgetta wholeheartedly approves of does not a good line-up make. Especially when they're before the bastarding Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Besides, Tennent's makes me sick.

Bridgey xxx

[boo]

This issue's qmunicate uploaded for all you people who wouldn't browse the QMU website otherwise.
Contains the words "Daily Mail", "Celebrity Love Island" and "casual misandry".
Oh, and bad masking of Jonny Wilkinson image there.

Bridgey xxx

[ok then...]

How did that OKGO (did I type the name right?) video end up becoming newsworthy? Has it become a number one in the midweeks or something like that?
Next week: Cute Overload gest featured on Richard and Judy?

Bridgey xxx